In April 2018 I have finished a dissertation on sexual fluidity that was a final project for my Process Work programme graduation. Here is some information about it and below you can find a PDF with the full text, which you can also download.

Between fixed and fluid – exploring sexual identities.

Introduction:

We live in a world that is being regarded as post-modern, in which everything is fluid, unstable and constantly changing, but at the same time, there is a deep need of having stability, knowing, being sure and being able to describe things in a definite way. What happens when these two aspects collide?

My own journey that made me tackle this question and many others related to this matter began when I started to question my sexuality. Since sexuality is a vital part of our existence, and also one that evokes a lot of excitement on a socio-cultural level, such questioning can be (and was) really intense. I went from being a heterosexual young woman who suppressed any signals that might indicate otherwise, to a lesbian who, though being in serious relationships with women, was at times torn by conflicting impulses towards both sexes; to a person who set out on a quest to finally find out “who she really is”. With the emphasis on the “really” part. My most important finding being: in the end, it was not about the text on the label, the problem was the label itself. I found it too narrow for the complexity of my experience.

The problem is that the world somehow expects us to be declared, stable and, in consequence, predictable. The world is of course also reflected in our psyche, so we can end up with quite a conundrum to deal with, internally and externally. It does not help that (at least in many, if not most, parts of the world) any kind of deviation from the heterosexual norm is a serious problem in itself.

My thesis aims to explore the aforementioned problem, namely: what is the nature of the conflict between fixed and fluid stance on one’s sexual preferences and how to deal with it in a beneficial way?

Problem statement:

  • What prevents us from accepting fluidity concerning sexual identity (our own and in others, inner and outer)?
  • Why is bisexuality being marginalized so much? What does it say about cultural and social edges?
  • Why is it so important to find a label that “fits” and why is it so hard to let go of labels that relate to sexuality and relationship choices?
  • What kind of spirits, ghost roles, edges are there in the socio-cultural field, that relate to sexual identity?
  • What kind of inner figures and edges do we encounter in relation to (the concept of) sexual fluidity?